I stumbled upon The Clueless Goat, while browsing through Instagram cluelessly. Being one of the few cafes over the Chinese New Year period, I initially intended to visit them on their second day of their opening. However, they were only serving cakes and coffee then, so I visited them a week into their operations instead.
Situated at Goldhill Centre, Thomson Road, The Clueless Goat is conveniently located a stone’s throw away from Exit B1 of Novena MRT station, just opposite Velocity mall. This one-week old cafe tugged at my heart strings with its spacious and simple interior; humble and down to earth. A rare sight, as many of the cafes these days seem to be trying too hard to impress, and outdo their competition, with overly fancy interiors. With a large pane of clear glass embracing the entrance of the cafe, I loved how the natural lighting from the sun shines into the cafe, making it great for photography, yet at the same time, its slight tint prevents the light from being too glaring and hot for comfort. Perfect.
A communal table lies to the left of the entrance, together with a couple of 2-seater and 4-seater tables within the cafe.
A pity that they do not have wifi though, it is such a conducive environment to work in.
It’s pretty amazing and comforting to know that they are able to serve up such affordable food even in such a centralized area. How often do you find the most expensive item in the menu of a cafe to be just $13.80?
British Breakfast Platter ($13.80): Choice of eggs with Chirozo, Roasted Tomato, Streaky Bacon, Tater Tots, Sauteed Cremini and Toast. I’ve seen reviews about how small the serving of their other dishes are, and as I was feeling ravenous and English that day, this British Breakfast was what quelled my voracious appetite. I chose my eggs to be scrambled, because to me, the best breakfast dishes should have quality scrambled eggs — fluffy, creamy and well-seasoned. Check. Check. Check. You’re not so clueless after all, goat. One thing I felt cheated about this dish was, WHERE WAS THE CREMINI THEY PROMISED?! Otherwise, this dish was great. Savory and meaty chirozo, which went amazingly well with the scrambled eggs. If only they had the mushrooms. It would be my to go place for big breakfasts. Smoked Salmon Sandwich ($9): Smoked Salmon, Red Onion Relish, Herbs and Garlic, Cream Cheese on Multigrain Toast. Nothing to shout about. A safe dish to order if you’re clueless about what to get from the menu. I am personally not a fan of sandwiches because of the bread used, which can get quite dry and hard to cut up at times. However, this multigrain toast was quite the opposite. I approve.
Salted Caramel Red Velvet Cake, from Butter Studio.
The Clueless Goat has only 2 in-house bakes, the Key Lime Pie, and a Coconut Muffin. Both of which we did not try, since I’ve been told that their key lime pie was too sweet, and the table beside us couldn’t seem to finish the pie, which was an indicator that we shouldn’t order their bakes as of yet. The other bakes offered are from Butter Studio, the humble little cafe at Jalan Besar, along the stretch of Swee Choon Tim Sum. We chose the red velvet cake because it was CNY, not exactly, but we just did. The cake was a little dry and crumbly on its own, but I thought its dry texture was compensated by the salted caramel and cream cheese frosting.
Besides their own bakes, I thought the Achilles Heel of Clueless, was their coffee. Even though they have gotten their beans from Common Man, I thought that they did not do justice to these quality beans. My mocha was flat, and tasted like chocolate milk, more than coffee. Arguably one of the worst mochas I’ve had. There are also a number of negative reviews on Instagram about their not-too-impressive coffee. However, I’ve also been told that the coffee wasn’t too bad on their initial days, so.. Probably the skills of the different baristas need some polishing for the consistency.
Oh did I mention about the waiting time? I had to wait for 25 minutes for my food to be served to me, despite the fact that there was only one table who ordered ahead of me. I guess we got to give them some time to sort things out in the kitchen, as well as time to play with their espresso machines especially since, the cafe is quite in their infancy right now. Overall, I thought that for the affordability, the quality of food served was pretty commendable.
With a little tweaking in what it currently lacks, The Clueless Goat will give the other eateries in the area a run for their money. I, for one, would be one of their regulars if I were to work or frequent the Novena area. They are definitely worth the visit, if you haven’t done so!
How to get there?
189 Thomson Road, Singapore 307631
Exit B1 of Novena MRT
Tue – Thu: 8am – 6pm
Fri: 8am – 10.30pm
Sat: 9am – 10.30pm
Sun: 9am – 6pm